History is made every day in Washington DC, but it seems extra special today as the first same-sex couples become legally married. Unlike the first day of same-sex marriage in other states, Washington DC is special to me as it is the place where our Constitution rests, where the Supreme Court resides, and where the fundamental rights of all people are ultimately tested. While it is true the Supreme Court has not had the opportunity rule on marriage equality, same-sex marriages are taking place today in lower courtrooms just blocks away from the highest court in the land and that just feels really special. Take a look…

If you are new to our website, we invite you to listen to our podcasts.  You can now download and listen to them directly from iTunes.  We produced a series of 15 podcasts containing commentary and advice related to coming out as a member of the LGBT law enforcement community.  You can access these podcasts free or charge.  CLICK HERE for the iTunes link.

If you do not have iTunes, you can also listen to our podcasts on this web page.  Simply click on Podcasts under categories.

This morning Admiral Mike Mullen said what I have been saying about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’s” impact on law enforcement…

“WASHINGTON – The military’s top uniformed officer declared Tuesday that gays should be allowed to serve openly in uniform, arguing that it is “the right thing to do.” Adm. Mike Mullen’s statement was the strongest yet from the uniformed military on this volatile issue, although he stressed that he was “speaking for myself and myself only.” He told the Senate Armed Services Committee Tuesday he is deeply troubled by a policy that forces people to ‘lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens.’”

Herein lies the problem exactly and in law enforcement I can tell you that a DADT culture is very much alive and well.  In fact, I talked with an officer this week who works for a rural department in northern California.  He described for me the dilemma he faces every day at work when he is forced by the power of the agency culture to hide who he is in lieu of facing rejection.  It’s so wrong.

This week President Obama said, again, that he intended to end the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy for the United States military.  We’ll see now how long it takes for him to follow through.  But, for law enforcement, ending this policy is a bit more complicated because it really only exists within the profession’s culture.  In many states, this reality of our culture is reinforced by non-inclusive employment discrimination laws that continue to allow sexual orientation to be a reason for firing someone; even a police officer.

It simply doesn’t work to say in the work place, “look, I don’t care if you’re gay, just keep it to yourself.”  In fact, doing so causes a gay officer to lie every Monday morning when asked by their straight peers, “so, what did you do this weekend?”  The real danger for closeted law enforcement personnel who are oppressed with a “don’t ask, don’t tell” culture is that they are forced to make a decision about whether to lie and risk being terminated for dishonesty or to come out and risk being rejected by their peers or even fired for simply being who they are.

I believe the problems created by the military’s official “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy extend beyond the military base.  This policy too is reinforcing a negative and damaging aspect of law enforcement culture that must be ended.  I believe it is much more important for a police officer to be known and trusted to be always truthful in both his or her personal and official life than it is to keep sexual orientation in the closet for whatever unexplainable purpose that might serve.

Now would be another great opportunity to write your representatives and demand they get rid of “don’t ask, don’t tell.”  Want to know more?  Click here to read about some of the successful military personnel who were fired for being who they are.

Chase Bank is going to award several grants for $500,000 and one for $1 million!  The Matthew Shepard Foundation is in the running to receive one of these grants.  The decision will be made based on votes collected through Facebook.  We need your support.

I am one of the members of the Board of Directors for the Matthew Shepard Foundation.  I got involved with the Foundation in 2001 after meeting Judy Shepard.  Since that time, I’ve watched this organization do some incredible work not only helping to educate legislators about hate and hate crimes, but also to support young people through Matthewsplace.com.  Even though we have federal hate crimes law now in place, the law alone will not stop hate.  The Matthew Shepard Foundation is poised to deliver powerful educational program designed to combat hate.

Please take a moment to review the information about this grant opportunity and to vote for the Matthew Shepard Foundation.  The deadline is January 22, 2010.

Click Here To Learn More

Tomorrow is a big day for same-sex marriage in the United States.   When California’s Proposition 8 goes on trial tomorrow before Judge Vaughn Walker in a Federal Court in San Francisco, the decision will not just impact the same-sex marriage ban in California.  Because the constitutionality of Proposition 8 is being tested in Federal Court, it is being evaluated against the tenants of the United States Constitution, which apply to every state in the United States.  The tenants involved are exactly those I’ve written about same-sex marriage from the very beginning of this blog and involve the very heart of the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution.

This is a really interesting time for same-sex marriage, not just in the United States, but around the world.  Mexico City and, just this last week, Portugal legalized same-sex marriage.  Did you know that countries including Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, Sweden, Norway, Canada, and South Africa without a 14th Amendment like ours have legalized same-sex marriage?  In our own country, Iowa and the District of Columbia legalized same-sex marriage within the same six months that it failed in New York and New Jersey.

Religious institutions, including the Catholic Church, are fighting with all of their might to suppress the same-sex marriage movement.  I call it a movement because this issue is indeed moving and it’s gaining momentum.  I think the religious zealots and hate mongers are running scared.  So scared that they are also fighting to prevent this week’s trial from being broadcast on Youtube.  If their arguments and intentions are so pure, why would they be so afraid for the public to hear their testimony?  What do they have to hide?  The plaintiffs are promoting the broadcast of the trial and even Judge Walker, who approved the broadcast, recognizes the social significance of the trial.  It’s probably not surprising that even the 9th District Court of Appeals stood behind Walker’s order to allow the broadcast.  As a last-ditched effort, the defendants have petitioned the United States Supreme Court to block the broadcast.   ….What exactly is it that they are afraid of?  If I had to guess, I would say that they are afraid of being seen for the haters and extremists that they are.

Unless the haters get a last minute reprieve from Supreme Court, stay tuned to Youtube.com tomorrow as the landmark case begins.  http://www.youtube.com/usdccand

If you are reading this blog entry, then I’m probably “preaching to the choir.”  However, I want to encourage everyone to include in their New Year’s Resolutions a commitment to take some action for the benefit of our community and the greater good.  In our busy lives, it’s so easy to get lost in the day to day challenges we all face with school, work, and home life and to become self-absorbed.  We are in the dawn of a new decade and while we have made some great strides toward achieving equality in the last ten years, there is so much more work to be done.  Here are some ideas…

We have inclusive federal hate crimes legislation, but no law is going to stop hate crimes from occurring.  The only way to stop hate is to prevent it from happening in the first place through education and awareness.  The “NOH8″ campaign offers a unique way for you to get involved individually by creating an image to start a conversation around hate and equality.  Celebrities and many every day people like me have jumped in to create a visual commitment to stop hate.  Check it out at www.noh8campaign.com.  It costs you nothing to get involved.  You can take a picture by yourself or with a group.

There are several incredible non-profit organizations that are working to promote equality day and to provide the kind of education and awareness I spoke of above.  Take a look at one of these organizations and consider getting involved as a volunteer.  These organizations work hard every day to make this world a better place for all of us.  If you’d rather let them do the actual work, consider becoming a regular donor.  There are many organizations worthy of your commitment, but theses are the ones I recommend.

Human Rights Campaign
Matthew Shepard Foundation
Stop the Hate

One way you can make your own community a safer place is bring an educational program from one of these organizations to a local school or community center.  For example, Stop the Hate provides a 3-day training for trainers program for colleges and universities that provides training for administrators, faculty members, staff, and students on how to make their campuses a safer place for students to learn and for staff to work.  How about helping a college raise some money to bring this program to the campus in your own community?  These are only a couple of many possibilities out there.  All I am asking is that you do something, take some action, and make one commitment to benefit the greater good.

Share your commitment with us by posting a comment here.  Let the world be witness to your good work.

It’s New Years Day 2010 and the dawn of a new decade. I’ve always felt on New Years Day almost reborn in a sense. It’s a great time to step away from old habits and to make new commitments around health and happiness. As I reflect on the last decade, the first one of the new century, I am reminded of my own “coming out” that began in March of 2004 and how much my life has changed since that night when I first told someone else that I’m gay. In fact, it’s hard for me to remember just what my life was like “living the lie” and always dodging the rumors and speculations. What I do remember is the loneliness and isolation I felt all those years I was hiding in the closet.

Today I am a much different person living a life in the truth and getting stronger every day about who I really am. I’m more convinced today than ever that you can be a successful in law enforcement and gay at the same time. It pains me to think about all the law enforcement personnel out there who are hurting as I did; who are “living the lie” by continuing to deceive their friends, family, and colleagues. It’s all so unnecessary and the wonderful reality is that so much has changed for the better.

However, despite how much may have changed, coming out, no matter how old you are, still requires tremendous personal courage. My guess is that it may be the hardest thing you will ever do. But, once you do come out, nothing else in your live will compare to the feeling of freedom and confidence you will have. Once you stop lying about who you are, you will feel so much relief and I suspect you will become closer to your friends, family, and colleagues in ways you could never have imagined.

Every day is an opportunity to come out, but if you are looking for a special one, consider the dawn of a new decade. Make the most important New Years resolution you could ever make: To live an authentic life and to never again lie about who you are. Know that you do not have to start this journey alone and that there are thousands of out law enforcement officers around the country who are ready to support you.

We have on our website links to dozens of local gay and lesbian law enforcement associations. We also offer you our personal commitment to provide you with support. All you have to do is reach out and tell us what you need. Please visit our website at www.comingoutfrombehindthebadge.com.  There is no excuse to tell another lie, so make the commitment here and now.

On behalf of all of us at Coming Out From Behind The Badge, COFBTB Publications, and Out To Protect Incorporated, I wish you a very Happy New Year!

I want to personally congratulate former Chief Bratton, Chief Beck, Assistant Chief Earl Paysinger, and the LAPD Commissioners for, once again, setting an excellent example for other law enforcement agencies in California. As of January 1, 2010, the Los Angeles Police Department Explorer Program will no longer be affiliated with the Boy Scouts of America. Why? Because the Boy Scouts of America discriminates based on sexual orientation and religion.

The Boy Scouts of America organization excludes non-heterosexuals from participation in their programs. Many law enforcement agencies, including the one I started at, operate an Explorer Program under the guides of the Boy Scouts of America. I discovered my passion for law enforcement by starting my career at the age of 14 as a Police Explorer. But, if I had come out or was out when I applied, I could have been excluded from participation. I witnessed a fellow member of the Explorers be kicked out of the program after it was discovered he was gay. His dream of becoming a police officer was shattered from the experience.

What’s really important here and now is that the Los Angeles Police Department has set the example for agencies large and small to follow. They are continuing to offer a law enforcement career exploration program for young people, but one that is fully inclusive. LAPD isn’t just paying “lip service” to promoting inclusion within their department, they are demonstrating it and more law enforcement agencies in this country need to follow the lead of LAPD.